Heart Housekeeping

Passage: Psalm 51 as it relates to 1 Sam 16:1-13

There's so much to this passage. But first, we'll start with the stuff I seriously just don't get.

This is something I have slowly learned to get used to in reading the Bible. I don't get it. Sometimes, it doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever. So I learned to pray about that and just move on. I'm learning to be okay with not getting it. Eventually I do, and when I do, it's like SCORE! It's better than hitting a secret big sale at my favorite store.

So here are my puzzlers:

4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;....

Uh...David, seriously? What about Uzziah? He was sort of sinned against to death, don't you think? Not to mention Bathsheba, who had her life turned upside down by your impulsive choices. Yeah, I admit, I don't get this line.

5 For I was born a sinner -- yes, from the moment my mother conceived me...

Yes, I believe in original sin. Clearly, since people still die a physical death. The world is still subject to the consequences of Adam's choice. But I really don't believe that a baby in the womb is a "sinner" as in someone who has committed a sin. I guess it's possible that he could be using "sinner" as one who will commit sins because of our fallen nature as humans. Still, this one is a bit of a puzzler for me.

My favorite section...it almost leapt off the page at me:

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.

I really love this part.

I am so distractable. I am constantly thinking of lots of other things to do besides nurture my relationship with God. It's all I can do to get this blog post done because Ticket to Ride is calling my name...and the new season of Project Runway has started and I have the first episode on DVR.

Nothing terrible happens when I give in to this distractions. Not at first. But eventually, I find myself being my old self centered me (not that I get very far from this me anyway, but...) using words and having thoughts I don't really want in my life. And I wonder how my relationship with God got to be so mechanical and lifeless.

This is where marriage is such a blessing. Marriage to Ross continues to teach me that my relationship with God is just as in need of maintenance. Lucky for me, Ross is not as patient as God is. He is a lot more vocal about wanting my time.

I never was very good at friendship. My brother is amazing at it. He is still close friends with the same guy from when he was 12. They've been friends for 28 years. I used to think that my brother was just built more loyal than me.

I find it pretty easy to let go of relationships with people. I used to chalk it up to being the lifecycle of friendship for me. I only developed friendships with people who came into my life naturally. I worked with them. We were in the same club. We went to the same church. Worked in the same ministry. Loyalty lasted as long as the natural, easy connection was tended by proximity and convenience rather than actual effort.

That's just not going to cut it by the way I read the Bible. Love takes effort. I need a loyal heart, and it will have to start with God. After that, I hope I will find it easier to tend my human relationships.