Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Facile Facades

Passage: 1 Samuel 16:1-13

7 But the Lord said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
Dear Jesus,

Sometimes I wish you judged by the surface, taking me at face value. I could probably handle that on my own. Most of the time, I look like I've got it all going on. Especially if you didn't use your super x-ray vision omniscience to see behind closed doors. I could totally rock this Christian life then.

I could say that I love reading my Bible the moment I wake up and you'd never know that I was really just sleeping in. Every day. Or I could say I spent my evening praying for the needs you laid on my heart and you would never know I was actually catching up on Season 6 of Medium.

You'd think that my smiling face on Sunday morning was genuine worship...and really, most of the time of it is. But you wouldn't know about those times when I'm actually thinking about all the stuff I screwed up or forgot to follow up on or the people I didn't call back because I have a totally irrational fear of talking on the phone.

I'd have to insist you stay out of my car too, because not only is it a mess, you would undoubtedly notice that my peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self control all get thrown out the moonroof when I have to share the road with other people. Other (old) people that drive 5 under the speed limit when I'm in a hurry.

I could just follow the cultural rules of American Christianity and pretty much just skate my way to heaven. I could slide in like socks on a hardwood floor.

But then, there would be no one in the whole universe who knows everything there is to know about me. And loves me anyway. There would be no one to make sense of the stupid things I used to do, and no reason, really, to have stopped doing them.

I could be skating my way through life. Purposeless. Pointless.

Instead, in exchange for knowing you see every part of me, in exchange for yeilding to your judgement and wisdom, I get Real Life. I get to see you work through me, challenge me and change me into what I was supposed to be in the first place.

And that makes me want to be more real, more genuine, more me than ever before, such that my outward appearance and my heart start looking pretty doggone similar.

Love,
Jennifer

1 comment:

PersimmonPulp said...

awe man. You nailed it. crud.

and thanks - you so eloquently spoke what I needed to recognize within my own life.