One of my very favorite things in the world, which I now no longer have because my beloved husband let our then-three-year-old play with it was my Angel Mouse. She broke his little arms off, and it was time to say goodbye to the little character who had brightened every Christmas since my early 20's.
Years ago, I worked for a guy with a weird sense of humor. You never knew what he was going to come up with. He always decorated the office for Halloween, usually complete with booby traps to scare the daylights out of his employees that had a sense of humor (or didn't seem likely to sue). One year he got a motion detecting animatronic 3 foot long rubber rat and put it under the accounting clerk's desk. Her scream was sufficiently satisfying such that it guaranteed future entertainment for many years to come.
He also always decorated for Christmas. I don't remember any of his decorations except the year that he got the freezedried white mice dressed up as angels and Santa Claus and hung them from the ceiling.
Let that sink in. Real (dead) mice with little Santa suits and hats, or with little white feathered wings. Hanging as ornaments. From the ceiling. Several dozen of them.
It was fabulous. I had to have one.
Discontent to part with even one of his own darlings, he ordered one for me from the artist in New York. Artist. It was ART.
It was one of my favorite things. Ever. I would LOVE to have little Angel Mouse back.
This has nothing to do with anything. I just felt the need to confess.
***
PS. By the way...I did read my passage for this week: 1 Samuel 26:5-25. I'm not sure what I think about it, except that Saul should have been Short Attention Span Saul. Or Short Term Memory Loss Saul.
The point is supposed to be how we should love our enemies. Mostly, I'm just thinking that it's not good to go halfway with God. Go all the way, or give up entirely. This halfway mamby pamby, I think I might believe in God thing just doesn't cut it.
Which takes us to today's complementary verse: Hebrews 12:24. It tells us to strive to live in peace with others and live holy lives. Before that, though, it encourages us to run the race with gusto. That God disciplines those he loves, just as any father who loves his children. Discipline makes us into better people. It's not fun, but it's good for us.
Again, the theme is more about giving it ALL. Not holding back, not letting fear get in the way. Being ALL IN. Like David, who in this story again holds at the forefront what Saul is, rather than who Saul has become. He is God's anointed, and that is greater than anything Saul himself is about.
May I be all in. May I see God's anointing on those who annoy me. May I be fully committed to living at genuine peace with others, earnestly striving to live a holy life.
Amen
Monday, August 23, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Aside: Working With Your Brain Turned Off
Working with your brain turned off is not a good idea.
Monday I was ambitious. I got lots of work done, all nicely written out in a notebook.
It was the list of lessons for the next 13 weeks of children's ministry. And the beginnings of a good shopping list of supplies that we'll need.
Then it was time to clean up for dinner and all the nice work I'd been doing on the dining room table needed to be put aside. I put most of it away, including the notebook, all with my mind on dinner, not where I was putting stuff.
I'm now ready to start printing off the lessons to get it all bagged up with the needed supplies and organized for the weeks we'll be teaching them.
And I CAN'T FIND MY NOTEBOOK.
Like anywhere. Aaaargh.
I need less stuff.
Monday I was ambitious. I got lots of work done, all nicely written out in a notebook.
It was the list of lessons for the next 13 weeks of children's ministry. And the beginnings of a good shopping list of supplies that we'll need.
Then it was time to clean up for dinner and all the nice work I'd been doing on the dining room table needed to be put aside. I put most of it away, including the notebook, all with my mind on dinner, not where I was putting stuff.
I'm now ready to start printing off the lessons to get it all bagged up with the needed supplies and organized for the weeks we'll be teaching them.
And I CAN'T FIND MY NOTEBOOK.
Like anywhere. Aaaargh.
I need less stuff.
Love Ya Ta Death
Passage: Romans 12:19-21
She was not only interested in words. She was endlessly (and still is) interested in torturing our dog, Lucky. Lucky is very patient, until she has had enough, at which point she will nip little fingers to encourage them to go find another toy.
One day, after being messed with a little too long, Lucky had reached her snapping point, and snap went her teeth. My daughter scolded, "Bad Wucky! That's wevenge!"
I tend to think of revenge in Count of Monte Cristo terms. For me, the word 'revenge' connotes a sense of patient (obsessive) plotting for the utter annihilation of my enemies. Mushroom clouds. Craters. Smoking boots.
This mental picture keeps me from thinking that my petty tit-for-tat responses fall under the Revenge category.
Like my response to the guy who sits on my rear bumper in traffic, "pushing" me past my speed comfort -- I tend to take perverse humor in the fact that I'm in front and he is not. I might even slow down a little, just to make him more mad. My internal (and sometimes not so internal) response is, "Dude, if you wanted to be first, you should have left earlier."
Then came the day that not only did the guy (middle aged, balding) flip me off when he could finally pass me, so did his lovely wife. While the guy was definitely wrong sitting on my tail like he was, I was not above reproach in my response. It was, honestly, revenge.
When I am offended, my first response is not "How can I love this person?"
Perhaps it should be.
When my daughter was very little, she learned about the idea of revenge. I think she got it at a church lesson, or maybe from a story book. She was very interested in words, and for whatever reason, the word 'revenge' really stuck with her.
Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, "I will take revenge; I will pay them back." says the Lord. Instead, "If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads." Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
She was not only interested in words. She was endlessly (and still is) interested in torturing our dog, Lucky. Lucky is very patient, until she has had enough, at which point she will nip little fingers to encourage them to go find another toy.
One day, after being messed with a little too long, Lucky had reached her snapping point, and snap went her teeth. My daughter scolded, "Bad Wucky! That's wevenge!"
I tend to think of revenge in Count of Monte Cristo terms. For me, the word 'revenge' connotes a sense of patient (obsessive) plotting for the utter annihilation of my enemies. Mushroom clouds. Craters. Smoking boots.
This mental picture keeps me from thinking that my petty tit-for-tat responses fall under the Revenge category.
Like my response to the guy who sits on my rear bumper in traffic, "pushing" me past my speed comfort -- I tend to take perverse humor in the fact that I'm in front and he is not. I might even slow down a little, just to make him more mad. My internal (and sometimes not so internal) response is, "Dude, if you wanted to be first, you should have left earlier."
Then came the day that not only did the guy (middle aged, balding) flip me off when he could finally pass me, so did his lovely wife. While the guy was definitely wrong sitting on my tail like he was, I was not above reproach in my response. It was, honestly, revenge.
When I am offended, my first response is not "How can I love this person?"
Perhaps it should be.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Conflict Resolution Solutions
Passage: 1 Samuel 25:1-35
That's supposed to be our passage this week, but I'm going to have us step back to chapter 20.
Resolution Solution #1: Ambulate
Brothers of different mothers, David and Jonathan make solemn oaths to each other before God to be best friends forever, like totally.
That done, David gently persuades his friend that Jon's dad King Saul is not entirely on his rocker about David. To be honest, with a certain amount of justification -- he's killer jealous of David's prowess among the people. They sing David's praises in excess of King Saul, which doesn't settle too well with Saul's suffering self esteem.
Saul asks Jonathan to kill David, but he refuses. He goes further to his dad, reminding him of all the reasons why Saul should love David. Saul, in a rare moment of sanity, admits to Jon being right, and promises not to kill him.
David comes back to court. In no time, Saul loses it again, and this time hurls a spear at David while he's playing his harp for the King. He lets vent his spleen and pursues David to his house, where David has to jump out the window to escape. He makes a clean getaway.
David finds his buddy Jon and demands to know what is going on. Jonathan is astonished. It can't be true! But it is. From Saul's own lips Jonathan is convinced of David's immanent danger.
Now, remember...David is the guy who looked at Goliath and was patently unimpressed. Dude is 10 feet tall, covered in shining bronze. David doesn't even tremble. His God is bigger than Goliath. So why does David even hesitate now?
Resolution Solution #2: Communicate
After being chased over hill and dale, hiding out in nooks and crannies running from King Saul, David settles for a short time in a particular cave. Saul narrows his net toward catching David, but just as he about has him, Saul must return to being King long enough to keep the Philistines from stealing his kingdom. This smacks of obsession gone wild.
Saul returns and needs a pee. He happens to pick the very spot David is hiding.
Oh, the temptation. After what is likely years of being chased. After atrocities that Saul has committed in pursuit of David (he slaughters a bunch of priests and their families -- men, women, children, babies, even their animals all in pursuit of David). David knows this and has had plenty of time to nurse a serious grudge.
David's men fan the flames. Chapter 24, verse 4: '"Now's your opportunity!" David's men whispered to him.'
It would be so easy to slaughter the unarmed mad king, literally with his pants down. Not only dead, but humiliated. David surely must have seen the possibilities in his mind's eye. He creeped out and got close enough to slice a part of Saul's robe off.
But he began to feel bad. He says to himself: "The Lord knows I shouldn't have done that to my lord the king." And now we know why he ran instead of fighting, as he did with Goliath. Crazy as Saul is, David remembers who Saul is beyond the madness. He respects the position God put him in.
David restrains his men and comes out of the cave, calling to Saul, "My lord, the king!". He bows down low before crazy King Saul.
He then reasons with Saul. He shares some of his frustrations with Saul, tells him how he, David, would never hurt God's anointed one, even though given the opportunity. He points out their differences and leaves it to God to judge between them. He calls Saul father. He communicates the pain of their conflict and does it with respect and honesty.
And Saul is touched. He finally recognizes David's future sovereignty and concludes that Israel will be blessed.
Resolution Solution #3: Humiliate
Saul goes home and David, yet unemployed, continues to live in the wilderness. David is a good commander -- he requires that his men abstain from women while on campaign and care for the locals with respect and protection.
It's time for a bit of R and R. David sends some of his men to one of the prosperous men of the area, asking for his hospitality. The man, Nabal, ridicules David's men, and makes fun of David.
This does not go over well when David's men return. David, now not faced with God's anointed, lets loose his hot-headed self and is ready to do some sword dancing.
But Nabal is blessed. He has a smart wife. She hears about what her husband does, and gathers food and wine. She hurries off to bring them to David and his men.
As soon as she finds him, she falls at his feet and urges David to lay all the responsibility for Nabal's behavior on her. She admits Nabal is a fool (which is what his name literally means...no wonder he was nasty -- imagine growing up with "Fool" for your name. No need for the kids at school to make something up to tease you with.) and begs David to ignore him.
Then she reminds David that he's much too good to kill someone as stupid as Nabal. Murder sullies David, and he is much too good for that. And besides, David, God keeps you secure! Your enemies will disappear like stones shot from a sling!
She goes on, alternately singing his praises and reminding him the consequences of hasty action, while taking on responsibility for actions she did not personally commit. She totally abases herself. In the face of conflict, she becomes utterly humble.
And David is not untouched. Vengence is left to the Lord, and it is meted out almost immediately. At home and drunk, Nabal is struck with a stroke when Abigail comes home to tell him everything that had happened. He dies the next week.
****
I think that God blesses us with marriage so we can learn all the ways to manage conflict resolution. And thereby get along better with others overall.
Sometimes, it is best just to run. It's time to find a quiet spot and hang out until the storm passes. These times are often when the conflict actually has almost nothing to do with me. Something bad has happened at work, or extended family has floated their challenges to our shores.
Sometimes, it is best to communicate. Trying to fight fair, with compassion, but honesty, saying how I really feel but remembering that he is not actually the enemy. These times are usually when the conflict does have to do with me, where our ideas conflict, where our actions conflict and there is misunderstanding and hurt.
Sometimes, it is best to humiliate. Maybe it's not my fault. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with me. Maybe I was even right. But to abase myself, I restore the relationship. And vice versa. Admittedly, he probably uses this resolution far more readily than I do. Okay, I suck at this resolution. Probably because he has always been better than me at recognizing this truth: that people are more important than being right.
That's supposed to be our passage this week, but I'm going to have us step back to chapter 20.
Resolution Solution #1: Ambulate
Brothers of different mothers, David and Jonathan make solemn oaths to each other before God to be best friends forever, like totally.
That done, David gently persuades his friend that Jon's dad King Saul is not entirely on his rocker about David. To be honest, with a certain amount of justification -- he's killer jealous of David's prowess among the people. They sing David's praises in excess of King Saul, which doesn't settle too well with Saul's suffering self esteem.
Saul asks Jonathan to kill David, but he refuses. He goes further to his dad, reminding him of all the reasons why Saul should love David. Saul, in a rare moment of sanity, admits to Jon being right, and promises not to kill him.
David comes back to court. In no time, Saul loses it again, and this time hurls a spear at David while he's playing his harp for the King. He lets vent his spleen and pursues David to his house, where David has to jump out the window to escape. He makes a clean getaway.
David finds his buddy Jon and demands to know what is going on. Jonathan is astonished. It can't be true! But it is. From Saul's own lips Jonathan is convinced of David's immanent danger.
Now, remember...David is the guy who looked at Goliath and was patently unimpressed. Dude is 10 feet tall, covered in shining bronze. David doesn't even tremble. His God is bigger than Goliath. So why does David even hesitate now?
Resolution Solution #2: Communicate
After being chased over hill and dale, hiding out in nooks and crannies running from King Saul, David settles for a short time in a particular cave. Saul narrows his net toward catching David, but just as he about has him, Saul must return to being King long enough to keep the Philistines from stealing his kingdom. This smacks of obsession gone wild.
Saul returns and needs a pee. He happens to pick the very spot David is hiding.
Oh, the temptation. After what is likely years of being chased. After atrocities that Saul has committed in pursuit of David (he slaughters a bunch of priests and their families -- men, women, children, babies, even their animals all in pursuit of David). David knows this and has had plenty of time to nurse a serious grudge.
David's men fan the flames. Chapter 24, verse 4: '"Now's your opportunity!" David's men whispered to him.'
It would be so easy to slaughter the unarmed mad king, literally with his pants down. Not only dead, but humiliated. David surely must have seen the possibilities in his mind's eye. He creeped out and got close enough to slice a part of Saul's robe off.
But he began to feel bad. He says to himself: "The Lord knows I shouldn't have done that to my lord the king." And now we know why he ran instead of fighting, as he did with Goliath. Crazy as Saul is, David remembers who Saul is beyond the madness. He respects the position God put him in.
David restrains his men and comes out of the cave, calling to Saul, "My lord, the king!". He bows down low before crazy King Saul.
He then reasons with Saul. He shares some of his frustrations with Saul, tells him how he, David, would never hurt God's anointed one, even though given the opportunity. He points out their differences and leaves it to God to judge between them. He calls Saul father. He communicates the pain of their conflict and does it with respect and honesty.
And Saul is touched. He finally recognizes David's future sovereignty and concludes that Israel will be blessed.
Resolution Solution #3: Humiliate
Saul goes home and David, yet unemployed, continues to live in the wilderness. David is a good commander -- he requires that his men abstain from women while on campaign and care for the locals with respect and protection.
It's time for a bit of R and R. David sends some of his men to one of the prosperous men of the area, asking for his hospitality. The man, Nabal, ridicules David's men, and makes fun of David.
This does not go over well when David's men return. David, now not faced with God's anointed, lets loose his hot-headed self and is ready to do some sword dancing.
But Nabal is blessed. He has a smart wife. She hears about what her husband does, and gathers food and wine. She hurries off to bring them to David and his men.
As soon as she finds him, she falls at his feet and urges David to lay all the responsibility for Nabal's behavior on her. She admits Nabal is a fool (which is what his name literally means...no wonder he was nasty -- imagine growing up with "Fool" for your name. No need for the kids at school to make something up to tease you with.) and begs David to ignore him.
Then she reminds David that he's much too good to kill someone as stupid as Nabal. Murder sullies David, and he is much too good for that. And besides, David, God keeps you secure! Your enemies will disappear like stones shot from a sling!
She goes on, alternately singing his praises and reminding him the consequences of hasty action, while taking on responsibility for actions she did not personally commit. She totally abases herself. In the face of conflict, she becomes utterly humble.
And David is not untouched. Vengence is left to the Lord, and it is meted out almost immediately. At home and drunk, Nabal is struck with a stroke when Abigail comes home to tell him everything that had happened. He dies the next week.
****
I think that God blesses us with marriage so we can learn all the ways to manage conflict resolution. And thereby get along better with others overall.
Sometimes, it is best just to run. It's time to find a quiet spot and hang out until the storm passes. These times are often when the conflict actually has almost nothing to do with me. Something bad has happened at work, or extended family has floated their challenges to our shores.
Sometimes, it is best to communicate. Trying to fight fair, with compassion, but honesty, saying how I really feel but remembering that he is not actually the enemy. These times are usually when the conflict does have to do with me, where our ideas conflict, where our actions conflict and there is misunderstanding and hurt.
Sometimes, it is best to humiliate. Maybe it's not my fault. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with me. Maybe I was even right. But to abase myself, I restore the relationship. And vice versa. Admittedly, he probably uses this resolution far more readily than I do. Okay, I suck at this resolution. Probably because he has always been better than me at recognizing this truth: that people are more important than being right.
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